labels

i recently heard a quote that really fits my current position in life: "most of what we are is what people expect us to be." well, i have an issue with this.


why do we let others run our lives? it starts out simple- we chose to do something or not to do something because others are around us, because we are afraid of what they would say, do or act. and, just like telling a lie, this is a snowball effect. before you can even realize what has happened, you're no longer yourself. you don't have your own thoughts, dreams, and goals. you become "one of them." a mindless, spineless creature that acts upon others thoughts to fit a label that doesn't belong to you. we all do it. we’re afraid of what others will think about us. we place too much power on the thoughts of others about of ourselves. the ONLY opinions that we should hold in respect is how we feel about ourselves. yes, friendships make the world a better, easier, and more enjoyable place to be, but our friendships shouldn’t be one way streets, and we certainly shouldn’t have to worry about what our friends will say behind our backs. or if our actions will be judged by our friends. this, my friend, isn’t a friendship at all. it’s an unhealthy relationship, and as a college dieter, i think we should always be focusing on the healthiest choices in our life.


or maybe your label does belong to you. maybe you decided to pick that label at first. but by interacting with others around you, you lose who you are, and become ONLY that label. for example, i know a young man who is, in his own words, "too gay to be straight, but too straight to be gay." he's been labeled as a gay man, but in reality- he's not. i firmly believe that people can't help who they fall in love with- who they are attracted to. he falls in love with people- no matter if they are a woman or man. by coming to college, and taking off the mask he wore all his life (to hide his sexuality) he started hanging around people in the lgbt community. by doing so, he shot himself in the foot. seriously. now, everyone only sees him as a gay man, without even considering his true feelings and attractions. he's judged by this false preconceived notion every day. people don't take the time to get to know him, especially when he's looking for good guy friends. heaven forbid, he wants a good group of guy friends, a solid core of best friends who are guys. would you deny his friendship because of his falsely conceived sexuality? think before you answer this question, gentlemen--- it’s happened before.

and what happens if a “friend” quits talking to you because of one of your labels? or if they are only your “friend” when their friends aren’t around? well, in that cause- i hate to break it to you- but you weren’t friends to begin with. --- but that’s a blog for another day! TRUST ME! it will come up again!

i have no problem being friends with anyone. any race, color, creed, sex, sexual orientation, gender, class, handicap, WHATEVER—they are all welcome in my book. we all have the same struggles, and we all bleed the same color- so what’s the big deal. i try not to judge, that’s not my job. treat me with respect, and i will do the same for you.

i guess the point i’m trying to make here is this--- be careful of the labels you have, whether you choose them or they have been involuntary bestowed upon you. and don’t believe the labels that others around you have. i hate labels. just like a hoe, never trust ‘em.

till next time,


eat your veggies! afterall, this is the confessions of a college dieter.

no use in crying...

i was always told as a child that there is no use in crying over spilt milk. what is in the past can't be changed, unless you somehow magically develop the ability to time travel, but you're only making your wife wait on you and you end up naked most of the time.

people change, constantly. the universe itself is always changing, forming, adapting, and you can't stop it. so what happens when two best friends start to change, but they change towards different directions. you find yourself either having to part ways, or work your ass off to adapt to each other. it's a two way street, so both need to place the same about of energy and time into repairing the rapid misfire of a broken relationship that once worked in perfect harmony. sometimes when you wish you could go back to when things seemed perfect, you have to reflect on why you're still friends- these changes are normal, and a right of passage in life. friendships are relationships that need to be evaluated at this time of change. are you friends with who they use to be? are you still friends with the "new" them? what happens if one choose to stay connected, and one chooses to drop the changed friend?

relationships change, it's a fact of life. but starting over, creating new friendships, developing new relationships, is a difficult task. many say that i make friends easily, but they are wrong. it takes a lot to be that funny, outgoing kid who always smiles. but recently, i've been placed in the above situation. it seems like some members of my closest friend circles are developing at a different pace and direction than me. some faster, some slower, but either speed or direction, i have found myself searching for a few new close friends. i've tried putting in the effort to amend those lost relationships, but i only end up getting crushed, and dissappointed. i need to grow thicker skin, develop a larger personal bubble, and not wear my heart on my sleeve so much. i like being the nice guy, but in ALL reality, the nice guys finish last.

so with the changing of the season, and the wind coming from a new direction, i've turned a new leaf. i'm no longer going to cry over you, spilt milk, and if you decide to change your mind, i may or maynot be there for you to run back to. instead i'll keep myself busy, and trying new things. i have a feeling this is going to be the most difficult, yet most rewarding year to come.

till next time,

eat your veggies! afterall, this is the confessions of a college dieter.